This is Not Law and Order. This is Life.

Today is really beginning to suck. I just had to purchase a home security system, well I didn't have to but if two of your neighbors got broken into on the same evening and you are a 20-something seriously uncoordinated girl, a home alarm system is probably your best bet.

The scariest part is that I live in a small condo complex. There are like 10 total so this literally happened mere feet away from me!

I considered buying a gun

What I think I'd look like with a gun...

 What I would look more like...

Guns scare me too much, I got no problem with anybody who wants to own one or hundreds, you've got the right to bear arms! Maybe if I attended some classes I would feel more comfortable owning one......

N-E-ways I really F-ing hate the fact that I don't feel safe in my own home! I could not fall asleep last night due to all the anxiety running through my head that I could not fall asleep and I feel like hammered shiz-nat today. F you to F-ing burglarers! All of them!

Good thing is I have an adequate watch dog

The dog barks louder than the boyfriend

Soggy Weather with a Side of Hummus

This whole weekend I had this song playing in my head....

No I didn't have to pull a Noah but it rained cats and dogs this past weekend. I have NEVER understood that expression my dad always told me to follow it up with "and I stepped in a poodle"...that made it mostly legit.

I engaged in a good amount of movie watching over the weekend. I saw one in the theater so today is officially called Movie Monday for "Mud" with Matthew McConaughey it's similar to when on February 4th and 5th we travel to the French Fried Frog Festival in Fayetteville. HA!

N-E-ways Mud was a good movie somewhat sad, but I was glad I watched it. The child actors in it are excellent and Reese Witherspoon just can't play white trash in my opinion.

I also watched "This is Forty" aka this will waste your time. This movie is in true Judd Apatow fashion...longer than long! The problem with Leslie Mann and Paul Rudd as a couple is that Paul Rudd is so likeable and Leslie Mann is not. Therefore you are continuously rooting for him and not at all her. Oh and by the way in case you didn't know Leslie Mann is married to Judd Apatow.....which explains a lot. She's a supporting character...not a star.

And to round it all up was "Argo" throughout the movie the characters say "Argo F yourself". Great movie. Never did it get boring and my simple mind was able to understand it. My significant other asked me constant questions for the first 20 minutes so in all honesty this movie made me feel smart.

We also ate at a restaurant run by hipsters and I bought some new Nikes so hopefully they'll get me off my ass:) 

I'm doing the Advocare 10-day cleanse so no alcohol for me over weekend...GRRIIPPEESS! But I was still game for going to Union Jacks, a really neat place in K-town.

That's my weekend wrap-up.

So like the Boss Lady says until we meet again,

-Reba K.

24 for 24

Because I love myself and Life of Jake gave me the idea, and that I am 24 years old. I decided to fill you in on 24 facts about myself.

1. I do not know how to dive. I can swim, but I have to jump into any body of water.
2. I really like "Gone with the Wind" and Scarlett O'Hara inspires me.

3. It is a big pet peeve of mine when someone catches on to a trend/joke later than everyone and then proceeds to wear the heck out of it  thinking they are just so hilarious.
4. My freshman year of college I evacuated my entire building via fire alarm because I let an uncooked noodle slip under the stove eye.

5. When I was 5, Nancy Kerrigan was clubbed in the knee in an attack brought on by Tonya Harding's people. It became known as "The Whack Heard Around The World". This event changed my life and I became obsessed with ice skating. I would wear leotards to the local ice rink and accomplish nothing on skates, my parents were even nice enough to get me a trophy engraved with the words "World's Best Ice Skater" the trophy should have probably said "World's Best Carpet Skater" because I rocked our living room.

6. The first movie I remember seeing in the theatre was a double feature. "Beauty and the Beast" and "Far and Away" I liked them equally. My guess was that my parents were not about to waste a trip to the theatre on a cartoon.
7. My favorite song to dance to is "You Shook Me All Night Long" by AC/DC.
8. I have been to top of the former World Trade Center.
9. The very first concert I ever attended was Yanni. I was with my mom, she didn't want to pay for a sitter and I guess she was looking out for my cultural well-being. If I could go back in time I think the first thing I would change is this being my first concert.

10. My favorite author of all time is Judy Blume

11. I think that Matthew McConaughey and Brett Favre are the hottest men of all time
12. I have never purchased a Lottery ticket, I guess I always feel like its such a long-shot
13. When I was around say 5 or 6 I was obsessed with weddings (not marriage) I played wedding all the time and I'm pretty sure I have married my dad, grandfather, and uncles on several occasions. That sounds strange written out. N-E-ways I saw that there was going to be a bridal show in town and this intrigued me. So, my parents did what any good parents do and took me to it. They even won a green lamp in a drawing, (they're still thanking me) My mom thought it was funny to tell vendors that I was the bride.
14. I'm a darn good cook, not great but good and I am trying to get better everyday
15. I love the Olive Garden and I also love Red Lobster and I really hate it when people be all like "that ain't sophisticated" well those restaurants are doing something right!
16. I LOVE The Office
17. I think Dr. Phil is one of the most brilliant minds ever.

18. I don't really get the hype over Zooey Deschanel
19. I hate the movie Super Troopers
20. I studied abroad in Scotland in the Summer of 2010 and it was such an amazing experience!
21. I can't master hash-tags and I really hate it when people use hash-tags on Facebook
22. I'm currently working on earning my MBA and it is hard work!
23. My dad is a former college football coach, mostly SEC and I grew up hearing many football analogies that he felt as though I could apply to life
24. The word fixin used to in place of "about to" makes my skin crawl and even worse when someone spells out "fixing" on social media sites in place of "about to"

For the Gals

There is a new show on MTV called Girl Code and I am lovin it! It's a bunch of chicks and a few dudes discussing any and everything girls know or need to know, and guys too for that matters. I would really like to be on the show so...... fingers crossed!

I probably won't be guest commenting on Girl Code super soon so I decided to share some wisdom here.

First dates that involve dinner.....

• I am really really weird about eating in front of people I don't know, yes, I know that is very stupid but whatevs. Luckily when my boyfriend and I sat down at a restaurant and ate a meal together we had known each other for several weeks. A lot of awkwardness avoided. Because here's my thing people eat what they like and hate to eat what they don't like so I would rather not gross someone out unknowingly. Plus if I had known my boyfriend was a die-hard cheese hater and lover of mayonnaise(F-ing gag) we might not be where we are today.

Manicures and Pedicures....

• First off love them and I feel beyond guilty having someone work on my feet because it literally looks as though I Flinstoned my ass around from Seattle and back. I know they talk about me while I'm sitting there....I know it. The massage chairs are nice until they start doing the pounding thing and my whole body shakes which I know must look beautiful because my muscles are all just so tight.

Willingly being the third wheel...

• When my best friend and I were single I served as the third wheel a lot because she would want to extra screen them(smart) first or she liked them up until right before they were supposed to hang out and she needed me to tame the awkwardness. We once went to a movie with a guy wearing jhorts(troopers).

Wet Sand and Walruses

Today I started the Advocare 10-day cleanse. I think it will be a good jump-start for me to be somewhat ready for swimsuit season. And by somewhat ready I mean being able to legally wear a swimsuit because chances are if I stepped out in one looking like I do today I would be speared

Notice the resemblance...

The fiber drink I had this morning wasn't all that bad...if you enjoy consuming wet sand. Now more than ever I want a fast forward button!

Theme Park Harlot

I love theme parks. I said it. It's cheesy. Whatevs! This weekend I had the pleasure of going to Dollywood which is a theme park in E. Tennessee ran by the great and wonderful Dolly Parton. FYI I LOVE her! Its about an hour from my house so a little road trippin was involved....

Ridin Dirtay, mean muggin

BLAH!

I grew up enjoying Dollywood, Big P didn't. Therefore Big P could take or leave Dollywood. My obsession just baffles him....he plays golf....I digress. He was sweet enough to pause for a photo

And this gem....

And I finally watched Django Unchained this weekend! H-E-Double Hockey Sticks it is soooo good! And I hate movies like that usually so there ya go! 

Happy Monday!

"What was the strangest place you've ever made whoopee?"

STOP. That was a rhetorical question.

I cannot say for certain, but I think someone or someones I should say, had intercourse on the hood of my car. Maybe I'm crazy but when I pulled into my well-lit garage last night I noticed some strange paw prints.

Exhibit A.

It is hard to see the handprints in this picture. But the arrows shows exact placement.

Exhibit B.

I know right?!

Exhibit C.

Whomever you are...I don't want a confession. In fact, I hardly care. So, if you tried to do this thinking you were getting some sort of odd revenge...pfft. I admire your boldness because my car has literally been to my place of employment and Walgreens the past few days. My point is it isn't like I left my car in a forest or something it has been in VERY public places. If you catch my drift.

Finish the Sentence...

I feel like Jessie Spano right now "I'm so excited and I just can't hide it" for Jake and Holly's Finish the Sentence Linkup

1. I laughed so hard I cried when... 

My friend’s 3-year old nephew said “bullshit”, we weren’t really supposed to be laughing because his mom didn’t want him thinking it was good to say that. So by sucking in my laughter it caused tears.

2. My high school...

Was really big. I don’t miss it but it was pretty fun while I was there. If I could go back I would say a lot more to several people

3. It really pisses me off.....

When someone asks me a question that I obviously will not know the answer to but still decide to ask me because they are too lazy to figure it out themselves.

4. In ten years...

I hope to be a mama :)

5. If I could erase one thing..

Not just erase but literally pour bleach onto the lack of appreciation I had in the past for people who are no longer in my life.

6. In 1999...

I met my best friend Tayfo! I also went to see "She's All That" with my parents. Big mistake. I am pretty sure that it was this movie that sent my dad on a mission to warn me about teen pregnancy and bad reputations. I mean you saw the Glamour Shot he had obvious cause for concern.

7. Honestly...

My house looks like I just moved in....been there eight months.

8. To me, Sushi...

Is delicious in it's simplest form, no need to make it complicated

9. Someone really needs to invent....

Something to vacuum all this pollen out of the air. I can barely breathe right now. Lovin East Tennessee this time of year

10. The first time I drank alcohol...

I was way to F-ing young!

11. The one question I would ask God is...

Are we ready to start on my list?

12. Lindsay Lohan...

Has been in two good movies, the Parent Trap and Mean Girls.

Yearbook Linkup



I love me some blasts from the past when it comes to photos, so I was tickled to see that Holly posted a school picture linkup!

 

 

I don't think any words can really describe the picture below.

 

 

 

Glamour Shots was running a special, nothing screams bad to the bone like a far-sighted 2nd grader.

 

 

And You're WELCOME!

 

Please Allow Me to Introduce Myself

I decided that today I would give you a little more of an in-depth "About Me". I know you are SOOO excited!!!

I have worked since I was 16 years old and I have held several occupations.

Me when I was 16 rockin the denim mini...ya ya!

My first job was at a dry cleaners. I was very fortunate to start this job at the beginning of the summer and this particular dry cleaners had no air conditioning.

Totally understand ya June!



Upside to excessive sweating due to sweltering temperatures is that I was one skinny mini that summer!

The second job I held was Impact Team Member at Abercrombie. The kids one. I had fun the whole time I worked there!

Obviously.......

Looking back, this was probably the last point in my life that I really felt like a kid...miss it:)

I worked as a hostess in a restaurant. This is where I learned the most about humanity. People are rudest in restaurants and there are two types of people in this world...ones who have worked in a restaurant and ones who have not. The ones who have are definitely better! I sound slightly bitter...working as a hostess will do that to you.



The most horrible job I ever held was working in a call center. This was my Nam, I seriously get flashbacks .

This ruined the "Thong Song" for me



Not to mention how sexy these are

And really nothing beats getting sexual harassed over the phone.

42....Forty-Snooze

When it comes to watching sports, not playing them of course I enjoy football and basketball. I really could not tell you a thing about either one but you get it. Baseball is not my favorite sport to watch, I love going to baseball games but really when is live anything not better..nevermind I prefer a lot of things un-live.

N-E-WAYS. This weekend I along with my boyfriend and some friends went to see 42. It is the story of Jackie Robinson who was the first African-American to play major-league baseball. I really liked this movie aside from all the baseball. Harrison Ford is spectacular and I am a giant Lucas Black fan so loved him too. It's kind-hearted film that will leave you feeling happy upon exiting the theatre but you'll somewhat wish you had waited for it at rental kiosk.

Rachel Robinson and actor Chadwick Boseman

I hope you had a great weekend!

How to Survive The Masters

Some sports fan say that The Masters is the most boring sporting event. Can't really say I blame them, but my beloved is a die-hard, over-the-top infatuated with the sport of golf. This weekend might as well be the Superbowl, World Series, and World Cup combined.

I realized I have a few choices this weekend I can:

A. Whine and fight him for the remote during commercial breaks
B. Ask 500 annoying questions pretending to be interested only to come out annoying
C. Or I can appreciate the eye candy.

Hmmmm C! Golfers aren't every gal's cup of tea, I get it. Khakis are boring. So I thought I would provide an assortment of what is out there this weekend.

 

 

Adam Scott

He looks like the type who could sell the shiznat out of some department store cologne, (not like behind the counter) in an ad campaign.

 

 You're welcome.

 

 

I must admit though, this picture somewhat reminds me of Lyle Lovett.  Just the hair.

 

Ricki Fowler

 

 

 I think its all the PUMA. He's the non-traditional choice.

 

 

 Rockin the Canadian tuxedo here. Now, that I look at this picture I think I realized why I find him cute, that denim jacket reminds me of what hot guys wore in 7th grade.

 

 

I hope this helps you if your TV is locked on the greens this weekend like mine is. Have a fabulous weekend!

Yikes, maybe I just dreamed this....

You know the episode of Friends when Phoebe is mad at Ross and she can't remember why, but it turns out it was all just because of something she dreamed.

I think this happens to me......I have a dream that feels very real and I wake up really agitated. I find myself put out with whoever I had this dream about and it isn't at all their fault....like really at all it's my own subconcious. The other person(like Ross) might even notice your crankiness towards them but you don't want to say "well I had this dream..."

Also, have you ever had dreams that you are embarrassed about? That is the worst because it always either involves someone so foul that you wonder what in h-e-double-hockey sticks was going through your head or it's someone not so foul, actually pretty great but that's embarrassing in a whole other way. Mine are usually about someone foul, probably due to my sense of humour. I once had a dream that I made out with a friend of my dad's....you wanna talk about Fing gross.

Ever had a dream you were too embarrassed to talk about? Please share, hardly anyone reads this shiznat anyways:)

Thursday Tuneage

One thing that I am absolutely not is a music expert. I like what I like and that's that. Songs get in my head and stay there, and these songs are bouncing around in there right now.

Lana Del Ray- Born to Die

This song is a bit crazy and I still really don't know what it means exactly but I walk around singing it. Plus, Lana Del Ray is so pretty! 

Eric Church-Like Jesus Does

I'm not an Eric Church superfan like so many people seem to be but I really like some of the stuff on his newest album Chief. This is the acoustic version of this song that I actually just found and I'm loving it!

Miranda Lambert-Mama's Broken Heart

This video is just as great as the song! I love love Miranda Lambert, she's what country music is all about!

Bruno Mars-When I Was Your Man

I love his voice! Radio plays the crap out of his songs so I hope I don't get tired of this too.

Maroon 5-Sad

Adam Levine looks as good as he sings:)

I love suggestions and opinions on good music so if there is anything you're liking these days, let me know!

To Cheer Myself Up

There are times when I think that I maybe freak out too much or I'm overdramatic. Then I see stories like this little gem and I realize I'm doing okay...at least so far today.

I'm a BIG BARGAIN SHOPPER so I was very excited when my Target purchases came in yesterday!

Cheetah Cray Cray!!

I'm a big fan of Target(who isn't really) and I'm always pretty happy with my purchases from there, the shoes on the right are probably more for colder weather but they were on sale SO...and wedge sandals on the left are cute but the fabric on the straps is a tad shiny(aka cheap looking) I got each pair for $17.50!!!

I also got to hang out with these two crazies

As you can tell Patrick loves to pester Cash who was putting on a good face for the picture. I love my animals:)

Anti-Manic Monday

I often look how I feel and today it is frightening. I feel as though I tried to swallow knives like a carnival exhibitor. I sound like a 60 year old chain smoker, which I find to be rather sultry until I begin to laugh and do the white trash laugh-cough thing.

N-E-ways.....I want Mondays to start being Movie Mondays because I love movies and I usually watch a few over the weekend, I did not this past weekend or the weekend before (busy, holidays, etc.) but I did see The Incredible Burt Wonderstone a few weeks ago.

This movie got very mediocre reviews. And I knew that going into it, but I am a huge Steve Carell fan and I also like Steve Buschemi and I'm glad Jim Carrey is getting back into the game. So I was going to see this movie no matter what the so called "experts" said about it.

This movie is one that you wait for at Redbox and get excited about because you know it is going to be worth the minimal rental fee. It's a silly movie with some laughs but its no 40-Year Old Virgin by any means. I will say this, the whole movie is worth worth watching just to see Steve Carell's hair like this!

See you guys tomorrow! I hope I am feeling better......What did you do over the weekend?

All I Really Need to Know-90's kid edition

Anyone who went to 4th-7th grade in the mid to late 1990's knows how much M.A.S.H. shaped their life. It gave us ridiculously accurate ideas of what the future held for everyone.

It gave us the ability to prepare for the inevitable. Living in an apartment with 9 kids driving a Mercedes convertible in Los Angeles and married to some male classmate who just o-so-grossed you out.

Despite the raw truth theme that M.A.S.H presented, almost as jarring as STD day in Health class....I still LOVED that game.

So you can imagine my thrill when I googled M.A.S.H and weeded through pictures of Alan Alda in fatigues, I found M.A.S.H the Game

You are welcome! and Happy Friday!

Jus Tease it and Make it Look like a Brown Football Helmet

Steel Magnolias is my favorite movie of all time, you'll probably hear me say that about a lot of movies but humour me for now. My best friend Taylor just finished Cosmetology school and passed all her boards woo hoo! She did my hair yesterday and of course it was filled with quotes from our favorite salon, Truvy's Beauty Spot

Of course my day of beau-tay would not be complete without pix

She does some good hair! Which is great because I have abused the shiznat out of my hair! Have a looksy....

                                   Blonde highlights..nothing too crazy                                 

Then I got the bright idea to bleach my hair to death. I thought I was a rockstar. My boyfriend say I looked like Slim Shady's wife (point taken).

Then due to the fact that my hair was literally falling out from the chemical treatment, I went darker but that could not even begin to overshadow the damage... 

Then my hair got a little healthier and I decided to go basically black with a little red....because we all know freckle-faced fair complected girls look great with black hair. This photo is of me at a Girl Talk show, I danced my hiney off and rocked some trashy hair!

Then I started adding blonde back in and I'm slowly getting back to normal (hair-wise) It's pretty much a circle.

If you are in the E. Tennessee area and you need someone excellent to tame your mane Taylor will be starting at Salon Azure in Maryville, TN. It is in between Five Guys and Menchies, I know I'll be visiting :)

Have you done crazy bad stuff to you hair?!