If Monday Were a Person

I must say that despite the suckiness going on lately I had a pretty awesome weekend thanks to wonderful friends:)

I'm not one to pretend everything is all sunshiney and perfect when it isn't, I don't sugarcoat it. If things are going so-so then that's that, I try to make the best of every situation but I think it is uber douschey to try and act like your life is amazing to others when deep down you're hurting.

So here's my story summed up....

I've always been one for long-term relationships. My first boyfriend (high school) and I dated for two and half years, it was the oh so over dramatic sorta thing that you believe will never end but in my case and in many others it did. I was crushed like every other 17 year old is.

So what did I do? I met a great guy and without hesitation I jumped right into a new relationship. Looking back, I probably should have held off and done a better job getting over my previous relationship but I fell in love and I knew at the time what I wanted and I do not regret that.

I do however regret the lack of appreciation I showed in that relationship and I could have been more mature. In the end, we were young, we fought, we wanted different things. This time I wasn't just crushed...I was devastated. The can't eat, can't sleep, can't get out of bed, can't do anything feeling. It's the worst. I thought I would never love or even like again.

Looking back, that was the best thing that could have ever happened to me. I learned how selfish I was, I learned how I took things for granted. I traveled, I enjoyed college, I discovered who I was without a boyfriend. I learned that I never had to dependent on a guy for anything, especially to make me happy.

I decided that the next relationship I ever got into, it would be because I cared for that person and not for any other reason. So, here I am at another failed relationship but I can say one thing for certain. I'm not perfect, I will never claim to be but I have absolutely zero regrets, I worked hard to make it work but a power much larger then myself decided it shouldn't. Am I disappointed? Of course, but I can sleep peacefully knowing I did everything I could:)